I once told Goon Squad Sarah "I realized that I'm just not interested in housework, so I'm not going to do very much of it."
This means that, when I tell you I'm doing housework? I'm probably reading blog posts. Full disclosure, people.
The thing I did - or didn't do really takes the cake. The lint-covered, fur-lined cake.
My vacuum had not been working well. It is a Sears canister vac and I mostly love it. It has a little powered hand tool that is great for upholstery.
I figured it needed a new belt and a new filter, because it was smelling kind of dusty and leaving little trails of dog fur on the floor. What with one thing an another, it took me a while to face going to the demonic Sears appliance department where Mitch is the only person who knows anything and Mitch isn't speaking to the other employees. When I finally got there, they didn't have any belts and yadayadayada a month (or three) passed.
I finally bought and installed the new belt and filter ALL BY MYSELF I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR AND USE A PHILLIPS-HEAD SCREWDRIVER.
The vacuum still sucked. Or didn't suck, to be more precise. I decided to further disassemble it and take a look.
Oh mah gah, my people. Are you sitting down?
I thought there was a little clog at the base of the tube that connects to the floor cleaner thingy. I took it out on the lawn to shake it out.
Eventually, a 4-foot dirt cylinder emerged like a germ-covered furry dust snake.
The tube that connects the floor cleaner thingy to the hose that leads to the canister had been PACKED FULL of dirt and dog hair and random filth and whatnot.
Sorry I have no photos to prove this. There are some things too horrifying for photos. There aren't many - but this was.
That dusty smell? Yeah, that was dirt flinging itself out of every little seam in my vacuum, trying to escape the fact that my vacuum tube had become a de facto bagless dirt catcher. Except the dirt, instead of being nicely contained, was just kind of hanging out.
I think you must agree that I win at sucking at housework. Just a warning so that you know. If you come over, a Tyvek suit and gloves are advised. Respirator is recommended but optional.