09 September 2010

Some of us can move on

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you. Your words of encouragement make it all worthwhile. Everything. All of it.

I am as good as one can be. I give thanks for the past five years of seeing my Dad twice daily. Not many people get that gift. I did, and even if it meant hearing the German submarine story for the 54th time, it was worth every minute (remind me to tell you how Dad saved 5200 soldiers from being sunk by the German submarine sometime. It is a great story.)

It helps that he passed away in such a relatively trauma-free manner. He was slipping further and further into dementia, and he knew it. So better to go than to stay.

I'm ok. Mom is ok. But someone is not ok.

Goldie is not ok.

My dad drank precisely 3 beers a day. So what if the first one was at 9:30 a.m.? He had been up for 4.5 hours by then, so in his mind it was practically lunchtime.

When I say 9:30, I mean 9:30. Not 9:15 or 9:45. What kind of Army do you think we are running here, soldier? Nope, it had to be on the dot.

The other day at about 9:33, Goldie bolted awake from a deep sleep. She ran to the back door and stood there, looking. Waiting for Dad to come in from the garage, where he kept the beer. The beer he went out to get at 9:30.
Goldie needed a pillow for her head...used my jacket

19 comments:

Rachel said...

Anyone who thinks animals don't grieve should read this post.

Glad to hear that you are doing well enough under the circumstances.

Kizz said...

Oh, sweet girl. She loved her routine, too.

Headless Mom said...

Aaw, sweet Goldie. Give her a head scratch from teh internetz.

meno said...

Oh god, shoot me in the heart why don't you.

Extra attention for Goldie. Right now.

sarah_ontheroad said...

Tummy tickles, extra treats, gentle walks, lower back scratches, snuggly cuddles and lots of extra attention. And the same for Goldie. Hug that girl from all of us. xxx

Barnmaven said...

And that's right where I dissolve into a puddle of tears.

I'd love to hear the submarine story sometime.

Magpie said...

Oh, poor Goldie.

susanbuchanan said...

now you are breaking my heart. best to you

Elvie said...

Hugs for Goldie. You too of course. Tell her he is gone. They do understand.
I'm cryin. we will be ok. Dad is.

Gretchen said...

I can relate. We recently had to have one of our greyhounds put to sleep. It was heartbreaking to watch our remaining boy try to deal with the routine without his other half. Hang in there and give Goldie some extra hugs.

mar said...

i shouldn't have read this on my lunch break because i have to go back to work now.
weepy over here. i'm sending goldie cuddles from iowa.

flutter said...

oh man, my heart just shattered for you and yours all over again. Send Goldie some love from my Ella and a big smooch from me

orion said...

Aw Goldie, routine is a hard habit to break for dogs. :(

thordora said...

awww puppeh :(

Schmutzie said...

Oh, hell, that made me cry. Dammit.

flurrious said...

Oh, Goldie! She doesn't understand why her world is a little smaller now. Head skritch from me to her and a hug for you, Suebob.

But how much do I love that your dad drank a beer at 9:30 every morning? Even more than I love the rubber band thing he made to make the screen door close.

Jessica said...

I'll join the ranks of the weepy. Hugs to you AND Goldie.

Major Bedhead said...

Poor Goldie.

I wish I could have met your dad. He sounds like a real character. *hugs* to you and to Goldie.

Suzanne said...

I am glad that you and your mom are doing OK and I really, really want to hear the submarine story.

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