10 July 2010

Meet the White Trash Neighbor

It's time for a new feature on Red Stapler: Meet The White Trash Neighbor.

Here's his back yard, just to give you an idea of what we are dealing with:
White Trash #1
His back yard that abuts MY back yard, which is not going to win the Garden Club grand prize either, but at least there are no rusting hulks out there.

He bought the house and IMMEDIATELY began filling up the yard with trash and rusting metal things.

This post is sponsored by Ativan, which is what I may have to take if Terry, for that is his name, doesn't stop driving me INSANE.

It is Saturday. A warm day. A day when one might conceivably wish to have one's windows open. But no.

Terry has some old 1960's, pre-emissions-control truck and he has been out there for 2 hours revving his engine, producing clouds of noxious fumes. I should leave, you might suggest. Oh, yes, I would if I could. But I need to work.

Ah well. At least he's not doing his other hobbies - welding, shaping sheet metal, or chasing his pit bulls around.

I almost want to stand on my front steps and yell "STOP BEING SUCH A STEREOTYPE." Maybe I'll just take him a case of Bud Light instead.

13 comments:

Count Mockula said...

Holy crazy, have they checked that yard for Jaycee Lee Dugard?

Stephanie said...

Bud Lite? That shur is fancy. I recommend starting with Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Maureen said...

I vote for the case of beer, but that's just me. You never know when a white trash buddy might come in handy.

super des said...

I agree with PBR, but Natty Lite might also be good.

And I'm sorry you have that. I'm sure I could find places like that around here, but they are not in my immediate view.

Jason, as himself said...

This is fabulous. You know I come from a long line of white trashy types. I THINK I broke the pattern.

Except my favorite beer? Bud Light. Not even kidding.

Average Jane said...

That reminds me of when Rita used to write about the "pirates" who lived next door to her before she moved away from them.

Major Bedhead said...

Whoa. Wow, suddenly I don't feel so bad for having plastic kid's toys strewn all over my patio.

I think a case of Busch Ice would be welcomed over there.

orion said...

Scroll down to the last two and I hope that will make you feel better.

http://rageguy.com/world-cup-2010.html

flutter said...

I think you should sign him up for Spam of the Month.

midlifenatalie said...

oh my gosh. i clicked to leave the same comment as count mockula! how funny. but seriously...no telling what or who you might find back there!

Cori said...

Haahahaahhaaaa! Looks like a smaller version of my dad's yard. Those are his "treasures." However, my dad has a vicious Yorkie rather than pitbulls. He always has some rusty old car upside down behind the barn. When asked he tells me he will take the engine and transmission for the hot rod he's planning to build someday when he has time.

Angelo Trevor said...

Maybe the Beverly Hillbillies moved in, Sue. They might install a nifty ceeement pond for those hot summer days!

Bethany said...

Oh wow, that is quite the yard! Is he the best neighbor or what!?

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