22 July 2010

Dressing offensively

I was at the mall yesterday. There's a whole new outdoor section that has beautiful tiled fountains and limestone walkways - shiny, polished limestone.

On the way in, I was following this skinny woman who was wearing fashionably ugly little booties something like this:


She wasn't doing well. I had serious big fear because she was slipping and teetering so badly. Her poor ankles were wobbly and her calf muscles were bulging from the effort of keeping herself upright.

I thought she was going to go down any minute, and not in a good way.

I got abreast of her and glanced over: "she" was a guy in drag.

Bad long stringy wig, too much makeup, guy face, adam's apple, white blouse, short skirt, booties.

Look - dress, or cross-dress however you want. If a dude wants to feel pretty and strut the mall in a pencil skirt, that's all right by me.

What I DO find offensive is the shoes, people. The shoes. Here's my advice to the sisters: If you can't walk it, you can't rock it.

13 comments:

Rachel said...

No kidding. Woman or man, wear sensible shoes!

meno said...

My daughter and i saw these exact boots trying to cross the street yesterday. I thought i might have to run out there and pick that woman up off the pavement.

Why the hell would anyone wear those things? I don't get it. Ugly and treacherous.

Isabella Golightly said...

Whoever said "if high heels are so great why don't men wear them?" had obviously never heard of cross-dressers!

Ericka said...

i do not understand the whole concept of the bootlet. man, they are UGLY.

orion said...

Why do I feel like the Fonz is about to pop out of these shoes and deliver his signature catchphrase?

Havisham Patrizzi said...

I love the bootlet and the boot sandal (like a foot mullet).

What I don't like or understand is why all of the shoes commonly sold are suddenly such exaggerated heels? I thought we had moved past the superspikes and megaplats for the regular girls.

Ah, but that's the whole moral of your story.. the regular girls impart hard-earned wisdom to the still fashion victimized crossdressers. This a sweet and loving tip.

Case in point: Tootsie. Say no more. Dustin Hoffman dressed beautifully and was so sexy that he recieved a marriage proposal and a romantic seranade from two different men in one night.

flurrious said...

What those booties need are a good pair of fleece pants with a stretchy banded waist and a faux fly. Otherwise, they just look stupid.

Anonymous said...

The idea of boots with peep-toes seems to be an oxymoron.

- aunt snow

Jason, as himself said...

Yeah, those shoes are gross no matter who wears them!

Jessica said...

@flurrious - LOL!!

flutter said...

when I worked at Nordstrom, the open toed bootie thing was just getting started and a lady came in to buy a pair. FOR HER 11 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.

Oh hayull no. I told her they didn't come in her size. she said she wears a size 7. I said, no they start at a size 8. Just, gawd. Way to tart your kid.

mames said...

best closing line ever.

might be reconsidering some heeled blogher shoes that i was going to pack. nothing like those monsters though.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I think those shoes are ugly, and I don't understand why anyone, man or woman, would want to wear them. I see them, but man, they cut your legs off and make them look short. Who wants short legs?

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