13 August 2009

Product review: McCafe, um I mean Latte

The scene: Exit 253 McDonalds, Highway 55, Joliet, Illinois. 2 pm Sunday July 26

There I was. Tired. Decaffeinated. Desperate. I knew the nearest Starbucks was about 4 long miles away and I needed to check into my motel and relax, but first my screaming empty neuroreceptors needed coffee.

Thus, McDonald's. I had been seeing their McCafe bus billboards for the past months advertising their $1.69 iced coffee.

Usually I only go to McDonald's to use the restroom, figuring that eating there every single day of my teen life had paid for the occasional road-trip pit stop, but in this case I was willing to make an exception because I needed mah coffee!

Brittany: WelcometoMcDonaldsmayIhelpyou?
Suebob: Is your iced coffee sweetened?
(I asked because Starbuck's default iced coffee is sweetened. Ugh.)
Brittany: We have sweet tea.
Sue: But the iced coffee isn't sweetened?
Brittany: The latte is sweet.
Sue: (realizing I needed to change tactics): I'll have an iced coffee.
Brittany: Iced tea?
Sue: Iced coffee
Brittany: Latte?
Sue: No, ICED COFFEE
Brittany: Madison, where's the button for iced coffee?
(Madison ignores her).
Brittany: Where's the button for iced coffee????
Madison: Right here. Where it always is.
(Oh, SNAP!)
Brittany: Do you want cream?
Sue: Yes.
Brittany: What kind of syrup?
Sue: No syrup. Just iced coffee.
Brittany: With cream?
Sue: Yes, cream, no syrup.

(waiting)

My drink came. It was a big milky latte, sweetened, with whipped cream on top. I had to wait while Brittany finished screwing up someone else's order.

Sue:
Ummm, this isn't iced coffee.

All motion behind the counter stopped as everyone glared at me.

Sue: Please. I want. A cup. With ice in it. With coffee. And milk. That is it. Cup, ice, coffee, milk. Iced coffee.

Three minutes later I had what I wanted. The whole transaction had taken 10 minutes and set me back $1.69. The coffee wasn't bad. But next time? Dunkin' Donuts.

10 comments:

Project Christopher said...

ROFL!
I've always said....
"I won't complain about the way a physician does neurosurgery because I've never been a neurosurgeon. However, I will tell you that you're an idiot of elephantine proportions (thank you Ratatouille) if you're screwing up a McDonald's order because I've worked at a McDonald's and I know it's not rocket science (or neurosurgery for that matter).
Once I was at a Burger King and the cashier was training a new person. The experienced cashier counted my change back to me starting with my total and counting back up to the $10 I had given her. The trainee smiled, looked at me, and said "I am amazed at people who can do that, I just can't!" I was amazed that someone old enough to get a job in the US COULDN'T do that.
I don't know that I ever saw the trainee again. I wasn't surprised.

Elaine said...

But but McDonald's has won the recession according to slate.com!

I don't think their new coffee campaign had much to do with it, however.

What pisses me off about getting coffee at McDonalds is that I have to open a dozen of those tiny creamer cups in my car. How does one coordinate that? And then I have a dozen empty, drippy creamer cups to deal with! And sometimes the McDonalds professional tries to just hand me the 12 creamers and I have to suggest they put them in a bag for me.

Eh, I make it sound like I go to McDonalds all the time for coffee but, really, I have only gone 3 times b/c that is simply unacceptable.

I feel better now.

Kizz said...

Dunkins never lets you down. ("Time to make the donuts!")

Dave2 said...

Try being a vegetarian and having to order a modified item from these people. Like a McDonalds biscuit sandwich with egg and cheese only, no bacon. Or an Arby's Market-Fresh Sandwich with no beef, just cheese and vegetables. Or ANYWHERE they have to press a million buttons to modify their standard menu items. I have ended up with the most bizarre crap you can imagine because they either don't know what button to press or they're over-thinking things. Torture, really.

Ericka said...

*blink* you had a dunkin donuts there and you went to mcdonald's for coffee? really?

SUEB0B said...

Dave - I AM a vegetarian. I don't go to fast food places much, but when I do, I feel your pain. Example: I ordered a chalupa at Taco Hell with no meat. The counter guy asked "Would you like it without steak, or without chicken?" I asked "What is the difference?" and he said, "Oh, without chicken is cheaper." So I got a chalupa. Without chicken.

And Ericka, I KNOW! But I had been BY the DD, thinking my motel was right there and that I would check in and go get coffee. But I was at the wrong exit. I got flustered, headed down to the right motel, and McDonald's was right across the street and DD was 5 miles away...Bad mistake.

flutter said...

ok, ok ok!! how about THIS?!?

"I'll have a small fry"

"two apple pies?"

"no, small fry"

"A big mac?"

*drives away*

g said...

I went to Vons tonight and bought four items - a 1/2 gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, a box of pasta and a package of cheese.

The bag-person asked me what kind of bag I wanted. (shamefully, I have not been good about bringing reusable bags)

I said, "Please put it all in one bag, I think it will fit."

So when I finished my transaction with the checker, I picked up my bag - uh, actually, it was double-bagged.

So...instead of putting my four items in two separate bags, they put it all in a double bag.

I thought about saying, "What part of ONE BAG don't you understand?" But I gave up.

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Totally a bummer. I wonder if maybe their default iced coffee is the crap that they served you first? I don't drink it, so I don't know.

To Project Christopher, I'm shocked when I see anyone under the age of 40 who CAN count back change. I'm not even kidding. No one does it anymore.

flurrious said...

I once tried to order a Quarter Pounder without cheese. It took about forty-five minutes.

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