Sorry about the lack of blogging (oh, yes, I know, the world positively wept at the lack of Red Stapler posts. No apologies needed, Miss Self-Centered).
I try not to mention That Place I Go 40 Hours a Week, but let's just say that since the beginning of the year, it has sucked all of the marrow out of my bones and left my crumpled carcass to dry in the sun (but I love it! I do! Because I NEED ME A JOB!), so I just haven't been able to persuade my carcass to post very often.
Speaking of my carcass, let's look at all the great things that have happened to my face in 2009:
First, in January, Goldie clocked me in the mouth with her head as she was struggling to get away from the veterinarian. I actually saw the proverbial stars! That dog has a head the same size and specific gravity as a red brick. I swear the resulting bruise looked more impressive in real life than in this photo:
The there was the cute new haircut, accompanied by a colossal zit on the end of my nose that plagued me for over 2 weeks. BIG! RED! ZIT! You might say I have the skin of a woman 1/4 my age (but not in a good way):
Last week, I got 3 fillings (2 were replacements) and a great new bruise atop one of my chins, thanks to Dr. R. Can I maybe get a discount off that $528 bill for the disfigurement?
And then yesterday my eye started to hurt. And swell. And swell:
Ah, ah, ahllergy season!
2009 has obviously not been my year. If it keeps going like this, I think Vogue is going to cancel my upcoming cover. Dang.