16 February 2008

Murder is ordinary

When I was a sweet young thing I worked in a movie theatre. After putting in my time behind the candy counter (my advice: don't eat the hot dogs. Those things have been sitting there ALL DAY), I was promoted to the prestigious position of box office cashier.

Mann Theatres uniform

Families with young children would come up to the window. The mom always asked the question.

"Why is that movie rated R?"

"It isn't appropriate for children under 17," I would answer dryly, because I was a smartass teenager myself.

"I mean...does it have sex?" she would ask.

"No, but it is very violent," I would explain.

Her face would brighten. "Okay, then, we'll take two adults and one child."

No one ever decided not to take their kids to a movie because I told them it was too violent. Sex - no. Nudity - maybe. But violence? Fine! Let's get popcorn!


Last night I went to a vigil for a little boy who was shot and killed in his classroom by a classmate.


This week has been so violent in America. Hand-wringing from all sides. "What have we done wrong?" everyone asks.

It makes me want to scream. Look, people, murder is a huge part of our lives. It is like fast food or something. It is consumed daily in 99.9 percent of American households.

Murder mysteries take up rows and rows at the Barnes and Noble. No murder, no book.

Try flipping around the TV dial without seeing a murder. Video games - even "Christian" video games show scenes of rampant murder. It's fun, the killing, isn't it?

It's freedom of speech. Artistic license. Each new murder has to have a twist, to be a little sicker and more graphic than the last.

CSI. 24. Law and Order. The news. Natalie Holloway. Laci Peterson. OJ. Murder She F***ing Wrote. Murder murder murder we love the murder.


Forgive me, please. I'm on a rant. Right now I'm just feeling a little sick. Lawrence King is dead, another kid is in jail for his murder, and next week they won't be news because some other murders will have taken their place.

14 February 2008

So answer me this

1) My kitchen sink stopper is a non-standard size (because my sink is ancient and non-standard), so I can't stop up my sink if I want to. It just doesn't fit right (but it keeps veg peels from going down the pipes).

So answer me this: Why, then, when I dump something disgusting, does the sink stopper magically seal for once, so that I have to reach through an inch of murky, coffee-ground- and oatmeal-filled water to unstop it?

2) There is a motion-sensor light above my front door. It does not turn on with a switch. When the switch is on, it still needs motion to set it off, and many things do this - cats, waving banana leaves that are 30 feet away, wrinkles in the fabric of the universe...

So answer me this: Why, when I open the front door and Goldie and I walk out into the pitch blackness and I want to take the trash out and want light to keep me from breaking an ankle, so I stand there waving my arms in every direction like a total maniac, will the light not go on until I have waved so hard that I have already fallen off the front porch?

Do you have any questions? Or answers?

PS I love you people! I don't say it often enough but Valentines Day shouldn't just be reserved for romantic love, right? I just hope that everyone gets the same amount of fun, support and friendship that I have from blogging.

12 February 2008

Cult? What Cult?

Cult is a word with negative connotations, right? It is normally used for delusional, defensive groups like the Branch Davidians and the followers of Jim Jones.

"Cult of Personality" tends to be an especially prejorative term, usually associated with dictators like Stalin or Hitler.

Why, then, is the term of the week for the Obama campaign "Cult of Personality"? It is all over the news and blogs.

It seems like an attempt to belittle the enthusiasm and joy that American voters have for the first really inspiring candidate that Democrats have had since...I can't remember.

Seeing is believing

I scanned an old unflavored gelatine cookbook and put it up on my flickr account.

You need to see it. How bad do you need to see it?

Well, there's a recipe for jellied corned beef and cabbage.

Corned Beef and Slaw Gel Salad

10 February 2008

Public Service Announcement

It is easy to love dogs more than people. Dogs are friendlier, kinder and simpler than humans. They are also covered in lovely warm fur (don't talk to me about hairless dogs).

My friend is going to put her dog to sleep this week. The dog is in horrible pain and can't stand up to pee anymore, so it is time.

It brings tears to my eyes. Nothing makes me sadder than when a faithful dog leaves this world.

I would like it if, when I am sick and old and in pain, someone would put me to sleep. I hope that idea takes hold before I get there.

Here's the public service announcement portion of our post:
If you have a deep chested dog like a greyhound, pointer or weimarauner, do NOT let them eat immediately after getting hot.

If they drink and eat too much while they are hot, like from a walk, they can get their stomach twisted and will need immediate surgery to survive.

I only learned this when Goldie was at the emergency vet after the exMrStapler's dog fought with her and tore up her ears. While I was waiting, a man came in with a weimarauner who was trying to vomit but couldn't.

The staff quizzed the man. The dog had been out for a long walk on a summer morning, came in, drank a bunch of water, ate a bunch of food, and started acting funny. The emergency vet staffer told the man that it would be an immediate $1500 charge to his credit card to get started on trying to save the dog's life.

At this point, I started sobbing. I was already on edge from Goldie's injuries and this put me over the cliff. Just then, Goldie came out, ready to go, so I never found out if that man's dog lived.

I'm just trying to prevent the same scenario happening to anyone else.
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