Look, it isn't that hard. Just make me some reasonably soft butt paper, wrap it up in plastic, and put it on the shelf.
First there were rolls. Then there was extra strong double thick. Then there were double rolls. Now, behold the Mega Roll that is MORE than the double roll. Now 12 rolls = 32 rolls, which I guess means each roll is 2.5x the size of a regular roll.
But I don't believe you. I'm not going to unwind the freaking thing to find out, but I didn't believe you on the double roll. I'm sure it lasts longer than the single roll, but how much longer?
I dunno. I haven't been OCD enough to keep a log (in a manner of speaking) of how much toilet paper I use vs. the time the roll lasts. So in my usual suspicious consumer manner, I simply choose to believe that you, Buttwipe Mfrs of America, are lying to me. I mean, why wouldn't you? You KNOW I'm not going to check.
I could probably check the square inches per roll and calculate the price per square foot but you know what? I hate math and I am certainly not going to do it while standing in the TP aisle.
In this baffling and often perverse world, I just don't need this aggravation. I have a life! (Apparently not enough of a life to stop writing posts like this, but still).
Just call them rolls and stop tormenting me, okay? It's the least you can do for a poor beleagured consumer, especially since I just spent $3.99 on a freaking loaf of bread.