12 August 2008

Be Splendid

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance." Bruce Barton

If you rise up, there will always be someone to try to slap you down. Human nature. Just today Mocha Momma got trolled on a silly, cute post by someone who said..."I can tell you think your better than the rest of us. Someday you will regret your smug attitude and everyone will see you for the snobby bitch that you are."

Mocha Momma IS magnificent. She is hella smart, tall and beautiful, and when she has the floor she takes it and owns it. She is formidable, so it is only natural that the crabs who want to stay down in the bucket grab her and try to pull her back down with them.

When I was a kid, I believed everyone was pretty much equal. I grew up in the 60s, okay? And I kept that attitude for a long time. I wanted to believe that, given enough help, anyone could be successful.

I'm past that now. Successful people are successful mostly because they are better at what they do than other people are. They get up earlier, work harder, think quicker and do things that other people won't.

Sure, luck plays a part. An important aspect of that luck is good timing. Google happened when the world was ready for an awesome search engine, not five years too early or five years after a great one was already out there.

The truth is, though, almost no one is successful alone. It takes a team to smooth the way, provide support and to cheer.

I love to watch people find their passion and work it hard. Isn't that why we all love the Olympics? We get to watch enthusiasm and talent and sustained effort all come together for one great moment.

That's why I love the BlogHer conference, too. I have seen people show up kind of timid and confused the first year, far more confident and focused the next, and fully involved in doing what they love and doing their best the third. This year the table of books written by attendees was about 30 feet long, a beautiful sight. Being around people who believe in you and cheer you on is invaluable when you are on the path away from the ordinary.

Tearing people down is easy, but building them up isn't that much more difficult. Why someone would choose the former over the latter is a mystery to me.

25 comments:

Julie said...

Amen to that. Sometimes the envy is obvious, but other times it is harder to find the motivation behind tearing other people down. I like the crabs in the bucket analogy.

Blog Antagonist said...

There must be an epidemic afoot. I just wrote a similar post after a comment on my blog. It wasn't that overtly unkind, but it rankled me a bit nonetheless.

Due to an experience I had several years ago that when people feel the need to tear others down, it's often not about their target at all. It's about their own bitterness and dissatisfaction.

Good analogy...bad time in the blogoshpere apparently.

Anonymous said...

How odd that such a cute and funny post would be the target of such bitter unhappiness. Weird.

g at www.doves2day.blogspot.com

Mayberry said...

Splendid post, Suebob -- I love it.

thailandchani said...

I suppose it depends on how you measure human value.. or whether it's even a good idea to "measure".

I still believe all human beings are equal.. and wonderful - just as we are.

There's no excuse for tearing someone else down. When all is said and done, it's just bad behavior and rather mean-spirited.

It's selfish indulgence - building oneself up at the expense of another.

~*

super des said...

You're awesome.

Mocha said...

You're my heroine. I love you.

I liked what you said about success. It's what I preach (yep. preach) to my students daily. Everything is a choice. Because of this post, today I CHOSE to be splendid.

Did you choose that, too? Because you completely are.
xoxo

Cagey said...

"Unhappy, miserable people say mean things. Happy people do NOT say mean things." End of story, as you know.

I wish I had known that simplicity as a kid - it certainly would have saved me a lot of heartache. I hope to teach my own children the same lesson.

I don't read Mocha Momma, but she has shown herself to be a class act with how she has handled this.

SUEB0B said...

Thailand Chani - I think all human beings have value, but I don't think all human beings are successful. I think successful people are those who are able to live happily and to contribute to making the world a better place as they are able.

MsLittlePea said...

Oh trolls! Can nothing be done about them? I detest nay-sayers and put-downers......

Swistle said...

I don't understand it, either. It seems so senseless: just cruising around looking for ways to make people feel bad. What kind of life's work is that? What is it they think of themselves as doing? It seems crazy.

Traceytreasure said...

"I can tell you think your better than the rest of us. Someday you will regret your smug attitude and everyone will see you for the snobby bitch that you are."

Correction for the troll: It should have read:
I can tell you think YOU'RE better than the rest of us....Blah blah blah....

Sheesh, they must have been tardy from school that day. So sorry for Mocha. We all need to stick together and vote the trolls off the island Survivor style!! :)
Hugs!!

Maggie said...

I've been wondering if there is some troll club where they all get together and high five each other for their meanness. Or maybe in order to be 'trolled in' to the gang they have to perpetrate meanness on someone randomly. Because it just makes no sense to be some lone person reading something you don't like and then instead of leaving, not reading, you spit venom. It never NEVER makes that person look good.

Suzanne said...

Jealousy is a fascinating emotion. That's all I have to say. Rita Arens wrote a really great post about it over on BlogHer.

Count Mockula said...

I heart you Suebob.

Jerri Ann said...

I too grew up thinking we were all the same. I was about 8 when I was shot down for the first time because my parents were divorced.

Even still at almost 40, I am amazed when when people say, "she doesn't want her son to play on the same t-ball team with your son because ya'll go to church xyz". I'm just like, what? Who judges folks by the amount of money they make? The clothes they wear? The opinions they practically keep to themselves and only tell you if you choose to ask? Holy Tomato Batman, this makes me nuts.

jennster said...

people are assholes. it's easy to either comment and not say it to someone's face.. or do it nameless.. or pretend to be this high and mighty wonderful person to everyone up front, but send nasty emails to people behind the scenes where no one but you and the person getting the emails knows it's going on.

it's a weird blog world right now. nastiness afoot.

All Adither said...

Nicely put.

mothergoosemouse said...

Can you see the standing ovation I'm giving you?

Anonymous said...

Great post! Very well said.

brandy said...

Ahhh yes. I agree wholeheartedly with this post. I just got a ton of hate mail for a post I wrote (that I thought about not writing because I thought I would get hate mail but then decided the blogosphere was nicer than that) and I suspect I will get some more for now writing a post about yelling at an elderly person. It freaks me out how crazy some people are- and did you notice that they are almost always anonymous?

It's almost as though they are ashamed of themselves.

SUEB0B said...

Brandy, yes it does "almost" seem that way LOL. I think you nailed that one.

Ladyhawk said...

I think if you are happy you are successful! If you reach inside yourself and lift someone up you make them happy and you lift yourself up in the process. It is a blessing to at least two people. If you tear them down everyone loses, so what is the point? If we all went out of our way to lift someone up each day wouldn't the world be a happier place?
Suebob, I think you are an amazing awesome, caring, all round fabulous woman!

Angella said...

I cannot believe that anyone could be mean to Kelly. I had ample time to chat with her and she was nothing but sweet, and lovely, and WONDERFUL.

Some people are haters and should just disappear...

Schmutzie said...

Well said.

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