09 August 2008

Am I Normal? Part 27

My co-worker Rachel is getting married at the end of the month, and a couple weeks ago she said "One of my friends is planning a bridal shower on the 9th."

My eyes bulged out a bit. I had forgotten about the dread bridal shower. I didn't say anything and thought maybe the subject would drop and it wasn't a prelude to an invitation, but merely conversation.

Wrong. The evite showed up in my mailbox and I was compelled to leave it there and stare at it for a week.

"You're coming to the shower, right?" she finally asked.

I had to be honest. The only way out was through.

"Arg, BRIDAL SHOWER!" I moaned. "Spending my whole Saturday afternoon sitting around with women I don't know, eating foo-foo snacks and playing stupid games? I'd actually rather have a root canal."

"It was supposed to be fun" she said in a little voice.

FUN? It had never, ever occurred to me that a bridal shower was supposed to be fun. I thought it was some kind of womanly endurance event like a marathon or labor.

Are bridal showers fun?

44 comments:

thailandchani said...

Oh, my heavens, NO!

~*

mar said...

as you noted about my fraternal wedding distress, i am also not a fan of all things bridal. i have never found those events 'fun', far from it. i was quite pleased that my former roommate, for whom i played bridesmaid in june, had both of her showers 3+ hours away, so dang, i couldn't attend. (she only had two because she lives in tennessee & the wedding/family is in minnesota).
i think not liking wedding junk is considered abnormal, but i don't care!

Melissa said...

I have been to exactly one fun bridal shower. It was outdoors at a winery. We all had a lot to drink in a short amount of time and then it rained, drenching us and ending the shower early, so there was no time for games or even gift opening.

jessica said...

I think showers are hideous - unless I host them, because I am cool. It is one of Middle-America's traditions, and you know how I feel about Middle America....

Angella said...

They are LAME. I hated them when I was the bride too...

Susan C said...

At least there's booze at a bridal shower. Brides can drink.

Baby showers are usually dry because moms can't drink. And the decorations are horridly cutesy.

Give me a bridal shower any day of the week, especially if it's the kind that Melissa attended and ALL the guests got showered.

Mignon said...

They can be fun. For my friend's we met up with 5 or 6 friends in San Francisco and went out to dinner. Period. We called it a shower, therefore it was.

super des said...

No, bridal showers are not fun. Ok, amended - bridal showers are not fun for the bride's friends. They are fun for the bride's mom and *her* friends. And of course there is the one "embarrassing" moment when the bride opens a gift that is lingerie. Everyone giggles because omg the bride is gonna have sex, and then we all go back to playing games about how well the bride knows her future husband.

When I get married, I'm not having one of those. I'll have a PARTY but not a shower. (until I'm obligated to because my mom or one of her friends is throwing it. Ah, obligations.)

Cagey said...

As bride, I refused to have a bridal shower.*shudder* I did have a bachelorette party, where my friends brought me boardgames as gifts. MUCH better and loads more fun for everyone involved.

g said...

with enough alcohol....

Ms. Porter said...

They are torture...so are baby showers. I didn't even think my own showers were fun.

Carolie said...

I LOVED my one bridal shower. Then again, it was basically a group of friends, male and female, who decided to gather together from near and far and take me out for a night of laughter and drinking. We closed the hotel bar, and sat on the very comfortable carpet in the hotel lobby with a few more libations and talked and laughed and reminisced until the sun rose.

What made it my "bridal shower" instead of just a party without my husband-to-be? We had no presents (their travel to see me was a HUGE gift!) and no silly games...but it was in my honor. I guess since I was not "showered" with gifts, it wasn't a real shower, but *I* knew the value of the gifts I was getting as I hugged David for the first time in 20 years; as I fell over laughing onto Antonia's shoulder just like high school; as Amanda and Terri and Patrick reminded me of past idiocies and sang stupid songs.

I'm sure there are people who enjoy the silly-game sort of bridal shower (most of them just recently left their sorority sisters, I would imagine), but I'm not one of them. If it's an event with people and activities you won't enjoy, send a gift and don't go, or arrive, give your gift, sip a single cup of punch or water, and make your excuses. Or if she's someone you like, host your own version of a "bridal-shower-also-known-as-lets-have-a-glass-of-wine-after-work" party.

(IMHO, most showers are tacky, because they require a gift as an entry fee. Showers thrown by relatives, rather than friends, are UNBELIEVABLY SUPER TACKY (see Emily Post and Miss Manners), because your family should not be inviting everyone you ever knew to come and give you gifts!) Weddings are different, because there is at least the possibilty that you've been invited for your presence, not your present.

Liz said...

Funny, I just had a conversation this morning with a friend who is supposed to go to a bridal shower tomorrow and doesn't want to go. She's Isreali and couldn't figure out why Americans do showers. I couldn't help her - I've never found them very fun either, and frankly I get annoyed by the relentless expectations of gifts associated with most weddings.

Overflowing Brain said...

Admittedly, I enjoyed my own much more than any other one I'd returned. But to be fair, we had copious amounts of peach sangria and absolutely nothing foo-foo.

I did want to kill my (then future) MIL, but that's an everyday occurrence anyways.

madgetastic said...

Not fun. Especially not fun after age 25.

Also, agree with above comment. Showers thrown by family are TACKORAMA!

Swistle said...

They CAN be, but the punch needs to be PINK and HEAVILY SPIKED, and the organizers need to be VERY CLEAR that the game involving toilet paper rolls and broomsticks is NOT FUN. I like the kind of bridal shower that involves: (1) booze, (2) treats, with no one dieting and making other people feel icky for pigging, (3) presents, and (4) talking.

meno said...

No. Just no.

Even massive amounts of presents don't make them fun.

Susan C said...

PS I confess: I ended up throwing a baby shower and a wedding shower last year (for two different friends).

I tried to talk them out of the games, but they INSISTED. At least I gave cool prizes.

Skye said...

They're just parties under a different name, but oh the baggage and the stupid games that come with calling them showers. When my co-workers were organizing a baby shower for me, I told my boss in complete sincerity that I would quit if they played any games. They all knew me well enough to believe me, so we were safe. Instead, lots of cake!

Insane Mama said...

arrggg. Don't.Do.It. Get Diarrhea or something

Chase said...

As a new bride, I can even say I can't stand showers. I made sure no one threw me a bridal shower because I loathe them so much. No one did. It was beautiful!

Julie said...

I DESPISE them.

gael said...

I think I could take the award for worst bridal shower. My sister wanted to have a nice shower for me. My stepmother wanted to impress my dad and took over the arrangements, inviting my elderly aunt, estranged half-sister and various step-siblings. Oh yeah, and none of my friends.
My half-sister was dating a male dancer at the time and added a surprise finish to the gruesome affair. Yep, that was me, sitting in the purple velvet chair with a horrified expression, peering out at my aunt and two older women I had never even met before, as the dancer in a silver g-string ended his routine with his leg on the back of my chair.

Gwen said...

Poor gael. That sounds like hell.

And to echo most of your commenters, no (or is that yes?), bridal showers are ghastly.

(Can I just comment out of the blue like that? Hi. I met you at BlogHer, while hanging out with littleDeb.)

SUEB0B said...

This is amazing. I never expected that the comments would be so overwhelmingly anti-shower!

I am going to start a collection of great stories I have gotten in my comments. Featured will be Chase's roommate horror story - the person who took acid, shaved her cat, and wrote "I am the cat" on it in blue marker - and now Gael's shower of terror.

And yes, Gwen, you can comment out of the blue. Comments are like food to me!

ReesePie said...

Not usually. I've only enjoyed a very few.

Minnesota Matron said...

NO. Torturous, insipid, and ridiculous. The Matron asked NOT to have one but suffered through the required family event (she married a Polish Catholic with 75 first cousins. there are showers).

Traceytreasure said...

I personally didn't have one. I've only been to a couple of them and let me tell you that male strippers would have made it fun!! :)

Hugs!!

apathy lounge said...

They used to be. Now? Ummm...not so much.

lizgwiz said...

I think bridal showers are only fun for the bride. 'Cause she gets gifts. Otherwise--painful. The only thing worse is baby showers.

Kizz said...

Some people live for that stuff.

We are not those people.

Kelliqua said...

Watching someone open pots and pans for 3 hours is so NOT FUN. How do we end this stupid tradition once and for all?

New Age Bitch said...

I've only been married 4 times so I can't speak with authority about this but I am pretty sure that bridal showers are only fun for the attendees (co-ed, please, sans groom) if the bride's first night as a bride can be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

They still do that, right?

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

Mine was...but it was just my close friends, some booze, lingere, and laughs. That's much better than the work person shower. Although, my work friends took me out and bought me lunch and then we went drinking later. No gifts involved, fun for all.

Maybe you need a worse job. (I only say that because I worked in a hotel at the time, which paid crap, and took a lot of the stress out of these things...)

lizriz said...

They are when they're co-ed, as they should be. The last baby shower I went to was co-ed, and it was super fun.

Wendy said...

Bridal showers (and baby showers) are horrific. I hate them. The only time I've even had a half-decent time was when I was the hostess, because at least I was busy. Otherwise, if I can, I make some lame excuse for not going, send a gift, and I'm done with it.

Maggie said...

Traditionally they are a torture device. But done right I think they could be fun. Like no stupid games. Plenty of spiked drinks. A good spread of food. And leave it at that. That's what I would have wanted.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

can be fun if there are mimosas and Bloody Marys.

Becky said...

Only if there's good food and booze.

aftercancernowwhat said...

Some friends of mine seemed to confuse the bridal shower with a bachelorette party. Opening a vibrator in front of your 80 year old grandmother...you make it fun or you die of shame. I do agree that a casual approach is the way to go as well as liberal libations.

kerrianne.org said...

I like to pretend mine was fun, if only because it was mostly family and everyone was genuinely excited to see everyone else. There was also fantastic treats and no forced fun games. I HATE forced fun.

mothergoosemouse said...

NO.

My god, you just reminded me of my own, which was thrown by my maid of honor. She was lovely, the shower was lovely (no stupid games), the food was lovely.

But then...THEN she made everyone listen to her play the piano. A late-twenty-something woman who'd just started taking piano lessons, and she put on a concert.

I'm not kidding.

So, no. Bridal showers are NOT fun.

Aprylsantics said...

Delurking here. Mine would have been fine without the stripper. He had BACK stubble and when he offered to reveal more than the normal fair, we all ran screaming into the kitchen. I think he got the message.

SUEB0B said...

Oh, Julie, that made me laugh so hard. And aprylsantics...that is the first time I have ever heard of back stubble, and I must say it boggles the mind.

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