I am one of the lucky people who will be driving brand new Chevy Tahoes to BlogHer tomorrow. And while I would normally never drive an SUV, I appreciate the free ride. I also appreciate how GM has sponsored BlogHer consistently - I am rocking a Saturn Aura shirt from BlogHer '06 right now.
You may not know that I have other sponsors, though. Yes, this whole trip is an opportunity for businesses to use my fabulousness to promote their products. Everyone wants a piece of the Suebob magic!
For instance, my butt is sponsored by LardAss Jeans. Their slogan is "It takes big jeans to cover a big butt." LardAss helps me make "Size 16-Short" look hotter than it ever has. They wanted me as a spokesmodel because big thighs are IN this year - sorry, all you skinny wenches!
Revlon uses gorgeous women like Halle Berry to promote its products. My makeup is supplied by the Emmitt Kelly Memorial Clown School. Their makeup is so pure that you can sleep in it! Sure, it stains your pillowcase something fierce, but the look is really very stunning, in that stun-gun kind of way.
My clothing is sponsored by Chico's. Specifically, the Chico's at the Camarillo Outlet Mall. Well, they didn't actually GIVE me the clothing, but it was 50% off already marked down prices, so it was PRACTICALLY free. Woo hoo!
My hair products are generously provided by Whatever Is On Sale. I am sure that many of you are familiar with the Whatever Is On Sale line and their sister line of products, OMG There Is A Double Coupon, Too.
So I am ready for the big weekend. Look for the woman waving a Red Stapler around. That would be me.