11 July 2008

Three strikes

My friend Matt is going sailing on an overnight trip to the Channel Islands this weekend with his neighbor dude. He was telling Rachel and me about it at lunch.

Matt: We're taking the camping stuff in my truck because it won't fit in his Corvette.
Me: Sailboat. Corvette. How old is this guy?
Matt: I guess you'd say he's middle aged.
Me: He has a Harley, too, huh?
Matt: (Snort) You guessed it.
Me: What IS it with middle aged guys? Do they get some kind of postcard that gives them an appointment where they have to go to pick up their Harleys and Hawaiian shirts and Jimmy Buffett tickets?

Seriously, people. I don't know if YOU have looked at any online personals ads for middle aged men lately, but it seems 90 percent of them have Harleys. Personally, I got over Harleys in my 20s, when my boyfriend spent all of his waking hours either fixing his Harley or buying parts for his Harley or, very occasionally, riding his Harley.

And now when I see a man with a Harley, my first thought is NOT "Ooh, how sexy and macho!" It is "I wonder what his comb-over will look like when he takes that helmet off."

12 comments:

madgetastic said...

Bwahhhhhhhhh!

Turning 38 in a couple of weeks, what was my man's sole indulgence this year? Yup. You guessed it!

No comb-over though. Thankfully.

KiKi said...

LMAO. You're so right. I've seen many bad ones, too. Sorta makes me want to have a "let it go party" for some of them... on the count of three, SHAVE!

mar said...

you knew someone in their 20s who could afford a harley? see, i thought part of the reason was they're so expensive that you can't afford'em until middle age.
it's a cliche because it's true, though!
i do like me a motorcycle ride, preferably not on a crotch-rocket, so a harley is the best option.

SUEB0B said...

Mar - "Our" Harley was back before they were all the thing. It was 20 years old back then, cost $1400 and spent most of its life in pieces being repaired.

Susan Carrier said...

I hear that CPAs buy more Harleys than any other profession. Who knew those bean counters were such risk takers?

Sandy said...

Funny, but I happen to be dating a 55-year-old CPA who has a Harley. The man has plenty of money to buy himself all the toys he wants (cars, boats, even an airplane), and I'm delighted to share in his enjoyment of them! Yeah, the comb-over is there, but so what? He's a fantastic lover, a fascinating conversationalist, and he treats me with caring and respect. That's all this 50-year-old gal needs.

mar said...

haha! now it makes sense...

jessica said...

HAHAHAHA!

And, um, why would you LOOK for a middle-aged man? I just traded my 55 in for a 35, and wow, what a difference! Not that I am dogging middle-age, mind you, but since I'm not quite there yet....

Oh, you wouldn't be planning a trip East in September would you? You could come to my wedding. Srsly.

SUEB0B said...

Considering carefully, my objection is more with the motorcycle than the men! I am so not attracted to motorcycles, and I think Harleys are esp. stupid because they are so noisy...but I could probably deal with a combover if it was on a great guy.

MsLittlePea said...

For a second I thought you were discussing my downstairs neighbor. He'll rev his Harley for at least twenty minutes before actually riding away. I think he just wants to make sure we all know he's a super cool dude with a Harley. This makes everyone in my building crazy with the noise. And yeah he wears tacky Hawaiian shirts and brings home all kinds of seedy women...he has good hair. I'll give him that.

lizgwiz said...

I pretty much instantly rule out any guy who posts a picture of himself with his Harley. Or, this being Oklahoma, with his enormous pickup truck. A picture with his dog? That's my kind of guy.

g said...

Oh, lord. My boss, two jobs ago, had a Harley. He was an executive director of an artsy organization, and although we all had to dress "professionally" he revelled in occasionally riding his bike up to the front of the building, and stomping into the office in his boots and leather. Everything he wore, from his hat to his undershirt, were emblazoned with Harley logos.

He was such an insecure man, who loved to be such a show-off.

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