This may be my most controversial blog post ever.
I don't want to offend anyone or drive off readers, but there is something I have to get off my chest and I can't hold back any longer.
I'll just say it.
I kind of miss pantyhose.
Yes, I am the last of a dying breed. Ladies who like pantyhose.
I know it isn't a popular idea. Young women would rather go without pants than be forced to wear pantyhose.
They just won't do it for love or for money. I see them with their little milk-white legs turning blue in the cold wind, covered in goosebumps. But you could offer them a lifetime supply of Hanes Her Way and they would say "No way." A lifetime supply for them is zero pairs.
I have cursed the hose myself. They don't fit right. They are either too light or too dark. They shred at the blink of an eye. They're expensive.
Yes, all of that. But they also make you legs look smooth and tan, and they keep you warm.
I hate having bare feet inside my shoes. It squeems me in a way that I cannot even begin to explain.
Now we have come to the real evil. Ladies of a certain age are aware that nylons are out, but they don't want to go without. So they wear tights or colored hose. Even when it looks like hell.
Today at the gas station I saw a lady in her Easter best. A peach pastel flowered dress. A peachy rose corsage. And navy blue nylons. Noooooo!
It's time to bring back Nude and Sheer and Taupe. For those of us who have pasty white, spotty or otherwise frightening legs, I beg you. Let us wear pantyhose. They aren't that bad.