Most people move to suburbia because it is so safe and organized and predictable there.
I moved away from suburbia because it was too nice for the likes of me. People sniffed at the renters down the street because their lawn wasn't all golf-course-like. Probably after paying $2400 a month for rent, they couldn't afford a lawn service. In all of the other yards, the shrubs were trimmed into cube shapes. Even mine.
I felt like I couldn't breathe. The beige was choking me. Among other things.
So I moved to the nuttiest place I could find. I have already talked about the Hells Angels clubhouse down the street, the big Mexican dances in random back yards, complete with lights, DJs and crowds.
Tonight was a new one on me. I was turning the corner to my house and was temporarily blinded by a truck with flashing yellow lights. Animal control.
Then I saw this:
Goatses! Not only goatses, but 2 of the BIGGEST goats I have ever seen. They must weigh about 300 lbs each. The size of ponies.
The animal control officer said he found them wandering around in the street, placidly. The lady on the corner said they belong to the guy behind her. I wonder if they were destined for the barbecue or what.