27 February 2008

Down on the corner out in the street

Most people move to suburbia because it is so safe and organized and predictable there.

I moved away from suburbia because it was too nice for the likes of me. People sniffed at the renters down the street because their lawn wasn't all golf-course-like. Probably after paying $2400 a month for rent, they couldn't afford a lawn service. In all of the other yards, the shrubs were trimmed into cube shapes. Even mine.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. The beige was choking me. Among other things.

So I moved to the nuttiest place I could find. I have already talked about the Hells Angels clubhouse down the street, the big Mexican dances in random back yards, complete with lights, DJs and crowds.

Tonight was a new one on me. I was turning the corner to my house and was temporarily blinded by a truck with flashing yellow lights. Animal control.

Then I saw this:


Goatses! Not only goatses, but 2 of the BIGGEST goats I have ever seen. They must weigh about 300 lbs each. The size of ponies.

The animal control officer said he found them wandering around in the street, placidly. The lady on the corner said they belong to the guy behind her. I wonder if they were destined for the barbecue or what.

13 comments:

debangel said...

Beige gets my goat, too ;)

If you want to know what the goats are for, take a batch of tzatziki down to the neighbors' house and gauge their reaction ;)

Blog Antagonist said...

I live in the suburbs. I loathe it. Absolutely loathe it.

We are technically outside the city limits, so people can keep small livestock here as well. Haven't heard any goats though!

SUEB0B said...

@debangel - Around here it would probably be for birria de chivo. They look pretty old and tough though.

jessica said...

I love goats! Actually, I love all barn-yard animals, and sometimes I wish I had a farm. I comfort myself with the bizarre petting-zoo/farm down the street from where I work, which has goats, donkeys (donkeys!), pigs, and a llama.

Last summer, I was in a tiny little park on a local river. I had just finished kayaking, and as I pulled my boat onto the grass, I saw the most Hippie-looking family EVAH having a picnic - with their goat. The goat was tied to a tree. I asked to pet her. They said they liked to take her on "rides" and get her out and about. Their car was an ancient hatchback with a goat hair covered blanket in the back. I wanted to move in with them.

MsLittlePea said...

I live in the burbs but there are so many sassy retirees in my neighborhood I can deal. I do remember wanting to just run away to the country when I lived South Florida though.

mamatulip said...

There's something you don't see every day...

Suzanne said...

I am obsessed with goats, so of course I think this is the most awesome thing ever. Fabulous picture!

Jessica, we can move to a goat farm together. (Keep in mind that I grew up in the suburbs and currently live in a city and know nothing about farming...)

Count Mockula said...

How cool! In my old neighborhood, they'd have been for menudo.

meno said...

I love where you live.
I used to work in a rural area in the drive-up window at a bank. One woman would bring her baby goat with her in the car. That was cool.

KiKi said...

LMAO

You? Are funny as hell...

Staci Schoff said...

Hilarious!

I despise the suburbs, but it's the most simple place to raise kids. Each year we do the math -- in 13 years this June, Little One will graduate from high school and we can sell this house and get the hell out of the suburbs!

Amy U. said...

Maybe they were going to take care of the lawn?

Assertagirl

Major Bedhead said...

Ummmm, you might want to remove the word goatses from your post. I'm just trying to save you from screwed up Google searches....

We moved to the city a few months ago and I gave a huge, heaving sigh of relief. Suburbia is like death by boredome.

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