30 June 2007

Ode! Canada!

The most current estimate of Canada's population is about 33 million people, somewhere around 1/10th the size of the U.S.

How is it, then, that so many of the bloggers that I pink puffy heart with bloggity goodness are Canadian?

I mean, here are just a few of the wonderful Canadian wimmin that I think everyone should be reading:

Karen of Vodkarella
Jess of Drowning in Kids
Catherine of Her Bad Mother and the cozy Her Bad Mother's Basement
Jen of Jen and Tonic
and of course,
Meg Fowler of Meg Fowler.com (who really ought to be much, much more famous).

July 1 is Canada Day, and I wanted to take a brief moment to celebrate that big-ass country and its amazing blogger-women.

It's almost enough to make me want to move there. But considering that I have a pathological terror of snow, maybe I will just keep reading.

Movie review: Breach

I was eager to see this movie. I had heard the Fresh Air interview with Eric O'Neill, the young FBI clerk who was key to catching traitorous spy Robert Hanssen, and the interview was great.

O'Neill had such an interesting story to tell and I found my heart pounding when he was describing sneaking Hanssen's Palm Pilot out of his bag to copy the info on it. He had all this great detail - how he had timed how long it took to walk from one end of the building to the other so he would know, to the second, when Hanssen would return, and how he knew he had just enough time to do the deed...exciting stuff! Spy stuff!

But what happened to the movie??

The characters got all boring and flattened out and one-dimensional. The lack of dramatic tension in Breach would be a sin in any movie, but in a spy-catching movie it is just unforgiveable.

The actors give it their best shot. Ryan Phillippe is all young and fresh-faced and brow-furrowy, Chris Cooper is his usual cranky menacing self and Laura Linney plays an FBI agent that smiles about once a decade.

But the script gives these talented people nothing to do. There is no feeling of matching wits, no real indication that a huge amount is on the line for everyone involved.

My suggestion is to listen to the far more enteraining radio interview and save the $4 video rental and an hour and a half of your life.

28 June 2007


Why does someone think that it is okay to run their Skilsaw chop saw through metal past 10 pm 11 pm on a weeknight?

Of course they are on the next block over, so it is a major hassle to figure out where they live and go Make Them Stop for Goodness Sake Do You Not Know What Time It Is and That People Have to Work Tomorrow?

Edited to add: I figured out who they were. They are the new white trash neighbors who have a child named Chance who "needs to get your butt beat" for escaping from the house.

27 June 2007

Hope springs maternal

Do you know how old I am?

Almost 46. Ye gods. How did THAT happen?

Have I ever been married? No, I have not. I am quite heterosexual and have had an active love life, but what with one thing and another (here are my significant relationships in order: sociopath, drunk, commitment-phobe, way too much like me, wanted kids, workaholic, republican, perfect but moved away, drunk (same person as the first time, woo!) and goddamned if I know) I never made the walk down the aisle.

The other day my brother-in-law gave me a gold wedding band my sister had worn. It had belonged to my great-grandmother, who had huge hands. I put it on a chain around my neck.

I walked into my folks' house Friday morning.

"Susie got a ring!!!" Mom squealed, delighted.

I haven't seen her so excited in years. Never mind the fact that I haven't talked about a man or introduced them to a man - she had this crazy hope that, because I was suddenly wearing a big ass wedding band on a chain, that I was "promised."

Sorry mom. I am not shopping for white dresses this month, but I will keep you posted in the unlikely event that, 32 short years after I started dating, my Mystery Date will finally arrive.

25 June 2007

Adventures in Dogwalking Part 223

Tonight when we were out at the state beach park, Goldie rolled in mud. Or at least what I thought was mud.

You can see what is coming, can't you?

If you can't, do you read blogs very often?

Because blogs are shitty places.

Yes, shit. Caca. Poopoo. Doodoo. Crap. Human, I believe.

Damn dog. I love her, but damn.

It was getting dark and I didn't want to bring her home, because even though I have an outside shower, I didn't feel like getting wet in order to wash toxic waste off of her. I really, really didn't want to get my hands in there, either.

I put on my creative thinking beanie and came up with a brilliant solution.

I took my dog to the do-it-yourself carwash and spent $2.25 in tokens to rinse her off. I didn't use the high-pressure nozzle, for god's sake. I like my dog with her skin still attached! I used the misty spot-free rinse setting and didn't even hit the trigger of the water sprayer - just the amount spritzing out was enough to get her cleanish.

She wasn't happy about it. But hey, neither was I. Y que!


This weekend we were laughing about all the times I almost drowned as a kid. Pretty much everyone has stories like that.

My closest call was when my rotten cousin Mikey pushed me into the pool at Lake Cachuma when I was about 3 and was totally incapable of swimming.

I remember sinking placidly down through the blue water, not at all panicked until my Aunt Elva snatched me up and put me on the pool deck and everyone was yelling at Mikey. THEN I started freaking out and crying.

We can look back on those stories and laugh because they have a happy ending. This weekend one of our fellow bloggers was not so lucky.

Watchdog's son, Puppy Monster, died this weekend in a swimming accident.

Avitable is collecting donations. We can't bring a beloved child back, but we can show some love and help them out with expenses. So far, wonderful Internets have given over $2300.
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