30 December 2007

Angry Public Service Announcement

I am pretty sure I did this one last winter, too.

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Public Service Announcement

If you have a cold, STAY HOME.

If you have to get groceries or diapers, I understand.
If you absolutely have to go to work because your germ-ridden progeny have sucked all the sick days out of your account already, God bless you. I'm sorry you have to go to work sick.

But for the rest of you creeps -
You do not need to go to church when you are sick.
You do not need to go to the movies when you are sick.
You do not need to go to the mall when you are sick.
Or the gym.
Or the library.
Or especially family events where everyone from the very elderly to infants are crowded into one overheated room with doors and windows tightly shut, snacking on the same bowl of chips and dip and mistakenly drinking each other's Diet Pepsis.

Stay home, you infectious jerkwads. For heaven's sake, this is 2007/08. You have plenty of stupid stuff to entertain you at home. God does not require your presence in church. Your muscles will not wither if you skip a week at the gym.

Face it, snotty-face. You are NOT THAT IMPORTANT. Take a day off and lie on the couch clutching wadded-up Kleenex. That is what your body wants, and that is what the rest of us want for you, too.

The world will still be here when you get over your illness.

Thank you.

13 comments:

Shash said...

As someone who works at a school and sees MANY children coming to class with runny, snotty green noses, I second your sentiment. Well said.

Shash

Grandy said...

Here HERE!! Thank you!!

Now...is this the part where we hear, "this was only a test"?? No? Wrong announcement.

Kris said...

Grandy took the words out of my mouth. Here Here, indeed. No one needs to go to the mall that badly.

mamatulip said...

For the love of God, people...LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN!

Motherhood Uncensored said...

I know. Seriously. What is with people?

The worst is when you're out after 9pm to avoid them all and THEY'RE STILL OUT WITH THEIR GREEN SNOT FILLED NOSED KIDS.

Christina said...

Amen. And don't send your kids to preschool when they're projectile vomiting all morning, either. We really didn't need that stomach virus.

QT said...

God....I couldn't agree with you more!

Carolie said...

Amen, Sister!

Here in Japan (and in several other Asian-Pacific countries) you will often see people walking around with white dust-mask-type-things over his or her nose or mouth. Many Americans think this is so the wearer won't get other people's germs.

NO! This is so the wearer, who must go out in public for one reason or another, does not pass along his or her germs to everyone else! These masks are available in every combini (convenience store) and sneezing/coughing/sniffling without a mask is considered extremely gauche.

Being thoughtful of other human beings...what a concept!

mothergoosemouse said...

Totally with you. It's even more irritating when parents drag their sick kids out. Yeah, I know you're bored and want to get out of the house, but do you really think your kid feels like gallivanting around just so that you can relieve your boredom? Ugh.

Hilly said...

Or work ;).

We should not have to go to work when coughing up lungs, thanks.

margalit said...

Here here. As an immune-compromised citizen of this here Earth, I honestly do not need ANYONE'S crappy sick snotty genes being coughed up in my face. You get a cold, I end up in the hospital with pneumonia or a heart infection.

STAY HOME! And DO NOT GET ON AN AIRPLANE.

The Ex said...

A-MEN. My mothereffing sister did this at Christmas. I wanted to punch her.

the weirdgirl said...

Right on! So why do I keep getting sick when all I'm doing is hiding at home? Oh yeah, because people keep visiting with their germs! Damn them all.

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