25 October 2007

What follows

When I mentioned my attorney the other day, several of you commented approvingly on his wacky sense of humor.

What I failed to mention that my attorney is my ex-BF. And he is a lot more my friend than he is my attorney. He has actually never done any legal work for me, and since I have little money and no power and I try to keep the libel and slander down to a minimum around here, he may never have to do any.

But over the years he has become one of my best friends and confidants. This happens to me all the time. I am apparently a rotten girlfriend and an excellent ex-GF.

I talk to my ex-BF Steve every day for about 5 minutes. We don't say anything important, but we like to keep in touch.

And then there's Mr. Mojo. Since my sister died, Moj is the only person on the planet who gets me like she did. We dated in our 20s, then didn't speak for 17 years. Then fell madly in love again. For a minute or two. I remember a tiki bar in Albuquerque. Then it was over again.

But now when I need someone who understands, Mojo is the one I call. I can be completely mentally ill with him and he keeps the faith for me. He knows I am sane underneath it all.

I love these guys, and they love me. I have never seen the benefit in being bitter about people I dated. I mean, we liked each other once. Just because we have moved on, does that mean we should hate one another?

Apparently it does to the exMrStapler. He won't speak to me, email me, nuthin'. I guess it works for him, but I don't get it.

About 3 times a week, I see something hilarious/weird/amazing that I know he would love. I wish I could call him and tell him about it, but he isn't going for that deal. I guess this is the point in the story where I say "His loss," because I don't know what else to do.

16 comments:

Nancy said...

If you're reading this, Mr. Stapler, you really don't know what you've lost. A better person you could only hope to meet.

(Talking like Yoda now am I? Coffee time for me is it?)

super des said...

I agree with your statement that you liked each other once, so why not still? You're awesome, and yes, it is Mr. Stapler's loss.
:)

ktjrdn said...

I know exactly how you feel. If you liked the guy enough in the first place to date him (or marry him) those things don't all go away becasue the relationshop wasn't menat to be. I have many ex-BF friends.

mk99 said...

My ex-husband and I stayed friends for awhile but we got so much crap from friends and mainly family that we couldn't continue. They felt I wasn't being bitter enough. ???

marian said...

Give him time. He's nursing his grievances for a while, but he'll probably come around...

ByJane said...

Many years ago, I wrote an article for MLLE titled, "Can You Like A Man You've Loved?" The answer is yes, provided both of you are cleanly finished with the relationship. Mr. Stapler's response indicates he probably isn't.

meno said...

He just might not be ready. Some people (like me) are slow.

MsLittlePea said...

You're lucky then. I never stayed friends with any of my exes and I never had the desire to. This is because the kind of guys I was always attracted to were jerks. Hot ones, but jerks nonetheless....

Maybe exMr will come around. Men pout a little longer than we do, in my experience.

Mrs. Chicken said...

DEFINITELY his loss.

mar said...

as was mentioned, not enough time may have passed for him. it took two years for my last ex to come around. and because of his behavior when i tried to make overtures of friendship only tat he rebuffed them repeatedly, now *i* can't be friends with him. at least not in the same way.

VenturaMom from said...

I wished death upon all of my exBFs. Is that a bad thing?

FENICLE said...

That's kinda sucky that he isn't mature enough to keep the friendship.

I always hated that with guys I dated. Those who couldn't get past the fact we were only going to be friends.

Alex Elliot said...

That really is Mr. Stapler's loss. I never kept in touch with any of my ex-boyfriends. It was mutual on both ends, but every once in a while, I'll wonder what they're up to.

Staci Schoff said...

I don't know any of my ex-boyfriends. Evidently I'm both a crappy GF AND a crappy exGF.

If I end up with an ex-husband, though, we have kids so will have no choice but to keep in touch. I'm sure that would be pleasant!

Suzanne said...

I am not surprised that so many exes stay in your life. You are just a fabulous person.

Christina said...

His loss for sure. You're a fun person to be around!

I, on the other hand, am not friends with any ex. No real reason - I would be friends with some of them, but we've totally lost touch.

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