30 July 2007

What are you doing here?

The real action is over at Flickr, where I have been posting this year's Red Stapler portraits all day. I think I am almost done.

I apologize for the people whose names or blogs I couldn't remember. Hey, I took about 150 portraits, I think - YOU try to keep track of all those details. My brain reached max capacity by the second day and it was all fuzzy after that.

For BlogHer 07, I stayed at the W Hotel, where I instantly felt Not At Home.

The chic design, the herds of beautiful people prancing thru the lobby and the extremely loud music everywhere all combined to tell me "you don't belong here." I have seldom felt older, frumpier or crankier.

Those feelings were compounded by the $8 water in the rooms. I can't imagine what kind of drugs make people spend $8 on water, but they must be strong.

Then there is the shuttered opening between the bathroom and bedroom. "Hello! I'm POOPING in here! Can you hear me?? GOOD! I LOVE THAT!"

And anyone over 40 probably can't read the 4-point type on their incomprehensible menu of services (housekeeping is called "styling" and the gym is called "sweat").

I'm not saying it wasn't nice. Quite the opposite. It was way too nice for a white trash girl like me.

Now I'm snuggled up in a suburban motel, the kind close to the highway where moms in sweat pants lead troops of grubby children to play Marco Polo in the pool. Harried-looking businesspeople in cheap suits arrive late in the evening and leave before sunrise. Trucks with their reefer units running are out in the parking lot.

Parking is free, wireless is free (it was $15 at the W), coffee is free ($4 at the W), breakfast is free ($12 and up), there is an in-room coffeemaker, fridge and microwave.

The TV is not a flat-screen beauty, the bedspreads are a hideous green and pink floral polyester, and I don't even want to see what a black light would find. But it is perfect.

The dollar-menu yogurt parfait from McDonalds across the street was 1000 times better than any of the artfully arranged crap I got at "Wave," the W's restaurant where salt seemed to be the primary seasoning and the music was rocket-engine loud even in the "quiet" area.

I'm glad to get back to my roots.

16 comments:

Karianna said...

Glad to have seen you. I felt calm in your presence.

SUEB0B said...

Thanks, Kari. It was great to see you, too.

Skye said...

Suebob, I wish I would have spent a few more minutes talking with you - but I realize that you had legions of adoring fans and an important journalistic mission! It was good to see you, and I promise to work on a different pose for next year's stapler picture so I don't become boring.

SUEB0B said...

Skye - we have to stop meeting like this - for 2 minutes a year. I would love to have a sit-down sometime.

Alex Elliot said...

It was great meeting you! I'm so glad you joined us on Saturday night. Definitely happy that I didn't stay at the W.

QT said...

I had a problem with those bathroom shutters too - WTF?

As for the W, I am glad I got to stay once, just to see what all the hype is about. I really enjoyed the people watching in the lobby the most.

one smarmy mama said...

Isn't it crazy how the more you pay, the less you get?

Mrs. Chicky said...

Seriously, what was it with the shutters in the bathroom? Whose brilliant idea was that?

It was a pleasure meeting you but I really wish we had more time to talk. For realz.

mothergoosemouse said...

Places like the W need down-to-earth people like you. I'm glad you were there.

As for those shutters, I felt like calling "styling" to request a sheet of drywall. Pooping is not a spectator sport.

Karl said...

Great we got to hang out over the weekend. I miss the stapler already.

Suzanne said...

I walked into the W and was certain that they'd ask me to leave immediately, as I brought the hip factor down to unacceptable levels. But I can't say that the City Center was better. Glad that you enjoyed your time in the burbs. Even more glad that we got so much time together and lots of Indian food and family swapping.

debangel said...

I totally get you, I feel like an impostor when staying at anything swankier than a Best Western. (Best free breakfast ever, free Wi-fi in the room...why stay anywhere fancy?) About the most I can manage without being mistaken for the help is a Marriott Courtyard. Although, I do love the comfy beds. And when I stayed at the Westin in Florence, Italy (talk about WOW), putting up with the "too rich for my blood" ambience was mitigated by the Godiva chocolate turn-down service.

Now, if somebody would open a cheap motel with nice firm beds and a MickeyD's turn-down service, that would be right up my alley =)

BOSSY said...

Right. Communal poops are wrong. Very wrong.

Belinda said...

So glad you were at the Dinner of Ridiculousness so I could talk to you a little! And I have not read one word from anyone that makes me wish I'd been at the W.

Schmutzie said...

I love your portraits from the conference. I couldn't go this year, so looking at your photos helps me pretend.

kerrianne said...

They played loud music in the lobby? Bizarre. And yet, I find myself strangely intrigued.

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