My friend Alicia asked me out to see a show at a club, The Troubadour, for my birthday next month.
Gotta love Alicia for thinking of me, but I had a few problems with this suggestion:
1. I had never heard of the band
2. The show is at the Troubadour, where one gets to stand on a concrete floor
3. It is on a Wednesday night
4. In Los Angeles, 60 miles south
5. Doors open at 8, which means the crappy opening band starts at 9 and maybe the opening act manages to haul their lazy butts up on stage around 10
6. I get up at 5:15 a.m.
7. I am 1000 years old
8. I am a cranky beeyotch
Yes, I will freely admit it in front of the whole Internets: I am officially too old for this shit. (The other part that I hesitate to admit is that I have pretty much always been too old and cranky for this shit, but at least I used to pretend I was enjoying myself as my eardrums melted and I was forced to be the cheese in a bobbing sweaty-hipster sandwich).
Here's my idea: Concerts for the Old and Cranky
Here are my promises:
1. Your ticket entitles you to a seat. An assigned, comfy seat. There will be room to dance, but it will not obstruct the view. Your ticket is your admission. There is no drink minimum or other surprise charge.
2. The show starts on time, which is early.
3. There is no crappy opening act.
4. The volume will not cause immediate and permanent hearing damage.
5. The show will end on time, which is early.
Is anyone with me? Great, because I have Jimmy Slovotnik and the Polkatones booked for Friday. Be there!
Next: Airline Travel for the Sane (featuring staff that actually checks the size of carry on bags and kicks off people who have tuberculosis or other contagious diseases).
In other news, I had dinner with VenturaMom and her cute daughter, The Girl (who is "almost 4" years old) last night. VenturaMom claims to be a "sassy dork" on her blog. She is a little sassy and not at all dorkish. And The Girl is a wonder. We taught her to ask for the dinner check by making the little writing motion in the air and she pulled it off perfectly and made the waiter laugh hard in the process.
It was a good evening.