02 January 2007

Phone Call with Mr Stapler

Mr Stapler: You must just be leaving your class.
Me: How did you know?
Mr Stapler: Because it is Tuesday at 8 p.m. and you are a creature of habit.
Me: No, I'm not.
Mr Stapler: Where are you going now?
Me: To Trader Joes, to buy the kind of soup I eat every night for dinner.

Yes, I do. I eat the same thing every night unless I go out. Here's my rationale: when I start cooking, I start tasting and eating. Before I know it, I have had 1000 calories for dinner, which, given my current level of slothitude, I do not need.

For some strange reason, the Trader Joe's Red Pepper and Tomato Soup fills me up and satisfies me. So that's what I eat for dinner. Every single night.

Other regular things around Casa de la Loca?

Breakfast? Two slices of toast with butter and jam and decaf coffee.

Our house wine is Rosemount Cabernet/Shiraz blend. Our house gin is Tanqueray. If you don't want red wine or gin, there is a grocery store 3 blocks away. Start walking.

The house coffee is Peet's Mocha Java decaf. Major Dickason's for weekends.

Our house starches are, in an attempt to be somewhat healthy, sprouted wheat bread and whole-wheat tortillas.

Our house dog food? Nutro Chicken and Rice chunks. The only kind of canned food Goldie will eat at all. She may be part cat. Or maybe just a creature of habit, too.

Blah blah blah Linkateria, blah blah blah True Employee Confessions. If I don't pimp them here, no one ever visits. Sniff.

And in other news, I am ready to send all the sickos who find this blog by searching for disgusting search strings ("mommy screwing animals," "little girl in the mens bathroom stall pooping") on one of those special CIA planes to Eastern Europe where very bad things will happen to them. Human rights violation? I am over it. Just make sure they never come back to my blog, that's all I ask.

19 comments:

Gigi said...

hahaha
Extraordinary rendition, indeed.

Too bad there's no pervert filter in blogger.

happy and blue 2 said...

Being predictable is good practice for something..

I read Linkateria and comment.
And I read True Employee Confessions as well but I don't comment. I'm never sure if you are supposed to comment on the confessions..

Laurabob said...

Horseradish mashed potatoes, because you need potatoes .No potatoes is just not right.

super des said...

I eat the same thing every day at work for lunch. Mac & cheese. If I'm not eating that, I get confused.

Laurabob said...

Add Horseradish mashed potatoes, because you need potatoes. No potatoes is just not right.

SUEB0B said...

Gigi - I don't mind sex, erotica, even regular porn. But these searches are just beyond foul. My only consolation is that they come to my stupid blog and read about my dog instead.

Happy - you are a wonderful exception.

Laura - I love mashed potatoes too much.

Des - I love me some mac n cheese, too.

Suzanne said...

Wow, those really are horrible searches. I get some gross ones, but usually not that bad. I am weirdly impressed, and I really like your solution. In fact, earlier today I was reading that NJ is about to ban the death penalty for murderers and I thought that it actually is very useful for perverts like you mention.

Jessica said...

A.) Please tell me how you know what searches people do - I can't believe that I don't know about this, but I don't.

B.) You have mentioned being a tad plump - how is that possible? Toast and soup....

C.) I'll pimp RS and TEC on my site!

Anonymous said...

I like the same routine, it's reassuring.

Wild about Doll Houses

chirky said...

I'm afraid I would starve in your house. I'm resolved that I will exercise this year, to counter-balance all my cooking.

Kate said...

WTF is up with people out there? That is totally weird. People have some bizarre interests.


As for the food - I ate a peanut butter sandwich (no jelly) for 12 years straight during lunch at school. I'm not a big creature of habit, but I am when it comes to food. :)

That Chick Over There said...

Oh sweet Lord, what crazy searches! Scary!

I forget how I found your blog. But it was not a pervert search. Pinkie-swear.

Chantel said...

I eat the same soup 3 times weekly minimum for lunch. Same way every time, 1/4 whole wheat baquette toasted and then torn and tossed into the bowl with the soup.

Nothing wrong with habits like this.
Happy New Year.

mamatulip said...

I ended up having to install a spam filter because I get such raunchy spam comments on my blog.

I used to get really wacky search hits but since I posted about my veneer hell most of my search hits have had to do with veneers and dental work.

Lisa said...

I have a post in the works to pimp TEC...

I just need to publish it.

I have heard that people who eat the same stuff each night tend to weigh less. (For the reason you just wrote... the tasting of food...) SO actually, your habbit is a healthy and smart one!

Heather said...

I do the same thing with my schedule. Mr. Pants always knows exactly what I am doing based on the time of day and whether or not I am calling him. And honestly, were it not for him, I would eat plain pasta noodles with salt and spray butter every night for the rest of my life...

mothergoosemouse said...

I'm very fond of routine. It's comforting.

And I agree - I'm pretty repulsed by a lot of the searches I see.

Holly Capote said...

Hey, Suebob, you're a chick magnet.

Very few boys bob in the cyber-Suebob stew.

Pity that. Pity them.

Damn, I miss Trader Joes. LOVED that place.

SUEB0B said...

Jessica - you can get a stat counter (google "free stat counter") and it will tell you what searches bring people to you, as well as how many people visit your blog. I use statcounter.com

Also, about being "a bit plump" (like a big old horse, I am) - there are plenty of calories in the day LOL.

Thanks to you and Lisa for pimping TEC. It needs all the help it can get!

Back to top