Mr Stapler: You must just be leaving your class.
Me: How did you know?
Mr Stapler: Because it is Tuesday at 8 p.m. and you are a creature of habit.
Me: No, I'm not.
Mr Stapler: Where are you going now?
Me: To Trader Joes, to buy the kind of soup I eat every night for dinner.
Yes, I do. I eat the same thing every night unless I go out. Here's my rationale: when I start cooking, I start tasting and eating. Before I know it, I have had 1000 calories for dinner, which, given my current level of slothitude, I do not need.
For some strange reason, the Trader Joe's Red Pepper and Tomato Soup fills me up and satisfies me. So that's what I eat for dinner. Every single night.
Other regular things around Casa de la Loca?
Breakfast? Two slices of toast with butter and jam and decaf coffee.
Our house wine is Rosemount Cabernet/Shiraz blend. Our house gin is Tanqueray. If you don't want red wine or gin, there is a grocery store 3 blocks away. Start walking.
The house coffee is Peet's Mocha Java decaf. Major Dickason's for weekends.
Our house starches are, in an attempt to be somewhat healthy, sprouted wheat bread and whole-wheat tortillas.
Our house dog food? Nutro Chicken and Rice chunks. The only kind of canned food Goldie will eat at all. She may be part cat. Or maybe just a creature of habit, too.
Blah blah blah Linkateria, blah blah blah True Employee Confessions. If I don't pimp them here, no one ever visits. Sniff.
And in other news, I am ready to send all the sickos who find this blog by searching for disgusting search strings ("mommy screwing animals," "little girl in the mens bathroom stall pooping") on one of those special CIA planes to Eastern Europe where very bad things will happen to them. Human rights violation? I am over it. Just make sure they never come back to my blog, that's all I ask.