Mr Stapler said that, by having so many readers (dozens!) I am bound to change my writing because I can feel my audience listening. That may be somewhat true, but you know what is really changing the way I behave?
Becoming a church board member. Who knew that getting elected to the board would make me self-conscious about my behavior? I am in grave danger of becoming a real Church Lady. I feel like I can't flip people off when I drive anymore, for one.
I mean, what if the idiot drivers happen into my church and see my nametag and go, "You're a board member? You're the bitch that flipped me off one morning as you tried to merge onto the freeway!"
The other day I saw a headline that struck terror into my heart.
"Former Church Official Indicted in Scandal."
I thought "Oh crap. Whatever I do, from now on I will either be a Present Church Official or a Former Church Official."
I don't tend to be scandal-prone, usually, but you never know. Weirder things have happened.
I just really hope I'm never in a news story with "Former Church Official" in the headline.