29 November 2006

Nibble nibble nibble

Update: I broke down and bought a light box to try and cure my seasonal depression. They have cute little ones now. I had been imagining a Major Home ApplianceTM type of thing, so finding that there are small makeup mirror-sized ones pleased me greatly.

It was Mir's comment that talked me into it. She is my ultimate arbiter of all things Sane and Good. I figure if she can be chic and fabulous and raise 2 kids on a freelancer's salary, well, I have to trust her completely.

I will let you know how it goes.

Tim Cahill is not only one of my favorite travel writers, but he also has some of the best all-time book titles. A Wolverine is Eating My Leg,Jaguars Ripped My Flesh, and my all-time favorite Pecked to Death by Ducks.

"Pecked to Death by Ducks" just so perfectly describes how I often feel. Not hurting, not in deep trouble - just worn down by the thousand tiny bites life takes out of me every day. Today, of course, was one of those days.

First, it was cold. Boo hoo, I know - it's winter, right? But I protest! I am a fourth-generation Californian and my people did not move here to be cold. I do not pay extra to live here and put up with this. AND it was windy - a ripping 50 mph windstorm that kicked up all kinds of dust and trash and just generally made life kinda sucky. I went outside and ended up with dirt in my teeth. Ech.

Second, my Mac laptop decided to lay down and die. Not all the way, just the video board. Which is also the logic board. Which is $300 and 5 days of repair time.

Here's what happened: my Mac caught me looking at other Macs. Yes, I was online at the Apple Store looking at new laptops, just looking but my Mac caught me and we had a big fight and soon enough, my Mac's display turned into these freaky little colored bars and then went to black. True story.

So I went to the Apple store in the mall and the cute young acne-faced boy helped me. Within 2 seconds, he had accessed my records, ALL my records, of everything that has ever been done to my Mac.

Here is what I want: I want Apple to start a cell phone company, because when I go to the Nextel store, they claim that there is no way on earth they can access my records unless I did the transaction with them AT THAT PARTICULAR STORE AND IF I KNEW WHICH CASH REGISTER IT HAD GONE THROUGH. It's like the computer age never touched Nextel. I think my calling records are probably stored on 3x5 cards and written in pencil. Sigh. Anyway.

The other thing was that one of my tires were dangerously underinflated and I went to FIVE gas stations before I found one with a working air pump. And there's nothing I love more to do with a dangerously underinflated tire than to drive around a lot, looking for something.

And the dog was sick. When I was at the Apple store, my mom called in a panic, telling me to get home asap. I had had a nice evening planned with Mr Stapler. Peck, peck.

Like I am going to be able to somehow stop the dog from having digestive issues by my mere presence. But what am I going to say - "Mom - YOU deal with it." Goldie IS my dog, after all...

I at least got to have dinner with Mr Stapler. I got to his house he had a glass of wine poured and dinner on the stove. What a guy. And then I had to leave right away to go fetch the hound.

So now you are saying, "But Suebob - you don't have a computer. How is it possible that you are writing a blog post??"

Well, let me tell you. Mr Stapler, that's how. He lent me his shiny new Dell laptop. What a nice man. It was the best thing that had happened to me all day.

Forget all the bad stuff I have been saying about him. He's really all right. He made me feel much, much less pecked to death by ducks.

22 comments:

Peevish said...

Heck, I deserve the bad stuff you say and write about me! I'm a guy! Bring it on.

Suzanne said...

In calling the acne-faced clerk "cute," I think that you may have also saved the day of a young man, although possibly he is unaware of this.

Hurray for Mr. Stapler.

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Jane said...

Be sure and post about whether the light box helps. I've been considering getting one for the last couple of years but haven't quite gotten around to it yet.

Heather B. said...

Ok, so now I'm only slightly apprehensive about purchasing a Mac...

And aren't the people at the Apple store, adorable? I just want to pinch them and ask how their 11th grade Chemistry class is going.

Mir said...

I hope the light box affords you some relief. When I finally bought mine I wondered why I'd waited so long.

And kids are a lot cheaper to raise when you never feed them. Sure, they whine sometimes, but I keep telling them: Go out in the yard and eat if you're hungry, sticks have plenty of fiber.

(Which is to say: If I'm your arbiter of sane/good, well... I'm so sorry.)

mothergoosemouse said...

I raise my children exclusively on Ramen noodles. Even Kraft Mac-n-Cheese is too expensive. And forget that Annie's Organic crap.

I hope the light box helps. I look forward to an update.

The duck analogy is quite apt. I'm glad Mr. Stapler is a skilled duck swatter.

meno said...

Might be time to shoot some of those ducks!
Hooray for the glass of wine and dinner.

Yez said...

You probably had to pay for the air at the gas station too, right? Grr!

LOVE your Nextel rant, and also: I totally believe your Mac's jealous revenge. On one of my PC's crashes (they are legion, and they are a thing of the past, right, PC?), it somehow transferred crash-cooties to my fingers, because when I went to DD's computer, it crashed when I logged on.

I want a full-spectrum light box and I don't even have SADD! I love sunshine, though, and I don't like the meager daily portion we get in winter.

Meg said...

Pecks can be worse than one big bite, I think. I'm glad there's a Mr Stapler to help cheer you up.

I'm learning that one of "those" days usually isn't followed by another. Hope today is better!

Andrea said...

I'll be interested to know how that lightbox turns out.

And hooray for Mr. Stapler! What a nice gesture.

I could set my cat on your ducks. He seems to go after any and everything that slightly moves, including my feet as I walk by my bed and he hides under it, my feet beneath the covers, my eyes as they twitch while I'm in REM sleep (swear to God he puts his paws on my eyelids, yanking me out of my dreams).

Want a cat?

guinness girl said...

Oh my gosh, your analogy of being pecked by ducks is precisely how I feel sometimes (um, like NOW). What an excellent way to describe it.

I have never heard of a light box. I use meds and I lurve them. If the light box doesn't work, don't knock the Wellbutrin. I, too, was hesitant to try my anti-depressant, but it has done wonders.

Mignon said...

Apple starting a cell phone company is perfect. I was going to say I want Apple to be my boyfriend, but I'm afraid he/she/it would be a little too metrosexual for my taste. Maybe Apple can just be my mom?

Do you get the Williams-Sonormously-Expensive catalogue? The picture of the rocky road was enough to bring me out of a little funk this morning... how was that for the worst ever suggestion for someone with SAD?

Mignon said...

And by the way, I read hoki's blog. What the f*ck? Is Borat on the internet now?

Mr. Stapler said...

Let's just be clear about a few things: (1) I am certain the Mrs. Stapler considers me one of the peck-peck-pecking ducks most of the time, (2) I made dinner because I could sense she was at the end of her leash [and barking mad!] So I made dinner. I tried, but it was a comically bad dinner, just horrendous!

The frozen broccoli that I stir fried was both freezer burned and overcooked. The artichoke ravioli was room temp, and the sauce I served it with was too sweet. The wine, though expensive, was a dessert wine. And to top it off, I made little bruscetta out of whole grain bread, jarlsburg cheese, carmelized onions and pasta sauce. WHO DOES THAT? They were tasty but I wouldn't serve them to strangers [or my man-crush Tom Coliccio.]

But it was vegetarian, and she didn't try to claw my eyes out. So, cool!

super des said...

I thought gas statios were required to have air & water?

Lisa said...

I hope the light box helps too. And so sorry to hear you had a very frustrating and sucky day. But good to hear you have wonderful Mr. Stapler to hug at the end of the day.

happy and blue 2 said...

Mr.Stapler is probably having a talk with his computer right now explaining that he won't let "that woman" touch it again, ha,ha..
Keep us posted on the light box thingy. I know a few people that really need one. Or perhaps dozens..

Stephanie A. said...

Don't underestimate the pecks- sometimes they are way worse than one big bite. But I'm glad that Mr. Stapler took care of you and I hope that your light box works!

Anonymous said...

Here's a quote for you. (Did it come from you?) Somewhere on the web I found this and liked it enough to write it down. But evidently didn't keep the pen humming long enough to note who put it out on the web. Anyway . . .

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day-to-day living that wears you out." Anton Chekov

And those 3X5 cards? The government is reading them to make sure that you are not making terroristic calls. And you wonder why I comment anonymously. Fear, I tell you, fear!

SUEB0B said...

Holly, you can run but you can't hide LOL

TB said...

I'll be really interested to see how the SAD light works for you. I have friends in Canada who swear by theirs.

Good luck with it. I had seasonal depression when I lived in Pennsylvania and Ohio and it just sucks.

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