18 July 2006

We are family

My eldest sis is here for 10 days. She is 15 years older than me. I am the youngest and there are 3 between us.

We are a weird family. We are scattered all over the place and we love each other a lot but rarely call or write. It is good enough just to know the others are out there.

I like hanging around her and seeing how much she is like me. Good-hearted and funny and a story teller and a hellcat bitch all at the same time. It makes perfect sense to me. Ah, the relaxing feeling of having shared genetic material.

My brother and one other sis are coming by the folks on Thursday, so if I manage to get time off work to get there, it will be four out of five.

My other sis can't travel due to some serious physical limitations. And my parents can't travel to her house in the midwest because, at their age, it is too much for them. So no matter what happens, there will only be four out of five.

It seems horrible that that there will never, ever be another complete family gathering. That already happened, years ago, and at the time there was no way of knowing that it was the last one. It was in a park. We barbecued and burned the beans and took a walk up to the waterfall.

The thought that the seven of us will never spend another day together makes the saddest kind of sad. Like my heart has been pounded on by the meanest hammer. It hurts so damn bad.

9 comments:

jess said...

I'm glad you have family and i totally relate to the lack of communication, but comfort nonetheless, when you're around each other. And, i'm sorry for your sisters health limitations.

gandhi rules said...

My heart goes to you.

Laura said...

Ouch. Thanks for writing about this.

super des said...

That sounds like my family - all over the place and never talking. They just had their annual campout that I've gone to every year since I was born, but alas and alack, I was in NY while they were in CA. Though my brother was techinically in the area, he was *cough* indisposed and the judge wouldn't let him go camping.

That is sad. That is one of the thoughts I had against moving to NY... it would be really hard for the whole fam to be together. I hear this a lot: "well your sister's coming..."

we have our own family. A family of bloggers. I love you guys! *sniff*

that was long, but I'm not sorry.

Izzy said...

I'm sorry, Sue. I can imagine how that must feel. But it's good that they are all still with you. Not as good as being all together, I know...

{hugs}

Elizabeth said...

That last sentence, it makes my heart hurt for you. I'm sorry that you aren't able to be with your whole family. But I'm glad that you have such a great time with your sister.

SUEB0B said...

Thanks everyone. And yeah, Iz, I know this is self pitying and seems petty in light of people whose relatives aren't even on this earth anymore...I do appreciate that my family is still alive and see-able even if they aren't all in the same place.

I guess for me the pain is kind of the pain that we don't see our opportunities slipping away until it is too late.

Chantal said...

I'm so sorry that you'll not get that last family gathering you want so badly. :(

Suzanne said...

I only have one sister (4 years younger) and one cousin (12 years younger). I rarely see my sister because she lives in Iowa and works at least 2 jobs and never has time off. I was super lucky to spend the week with her last week. I was overjoyed when my cousin decided to go to college near me. I miss her terribly this summer, while she is back with her folks.

Your blog was perfectly written.

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