I challenge all of you Mommybloggers to use that power sometime before blogher to post something BIG on your blog. Write about postpartum. Write about child abuse. Write about adoption. Write about abortion. Write something other than those "bubblegum" posts. Just once. OR, write a bubblegum post you know will mean something to some other mom out there.Of course, in that quote she is addressing MommyBloggers, so I don't even know if I qualify. So many mommyblogger venues, so few childless bitch sites.
My blogroll is mostly MomBloggers. I ended up reading so many MomBloggers by accident. I like to read women's writing and, well, most women are moms. Momhood gives women something definite to focus on and to write about.
But like I said, I am childless by choice. "Childfree," some people say, but that sounds a little too maxi-paddish and cutesy for me. So how can I write about issues around motherhood and children?
I guess I can write about my lack of children and how the whole having children thing baffles me.
I never wanted kids, not for a minute. The need just never arose. People say they look at pictures of babies and their hearts just melt. Not me. Sorry to disappoint, but babies are not cute to me. Sometimes specific photos of kids doing specific things are cute. But for the most part, children scare the crap out of me. They are so small and fragile and unpredictable. They require so much...watching. It makes me weary to think of it. I don't think I have it in me.
I try to tiptoe around it with friends who are parents, because obviously I am missing some crucial puzzle-piece in my soul that just snaps into place for those who want children. I don't want parents to think I am judging them, but I have absolutely no context for understanding why people want kids. The parent thing seems crazy to me, like taking up crack or something. When I hear of people going through fertility treatments, the first thought in my mind is "Dear God, why?"
I always find it a little hilarious and dismaying when people feel sorry for me because I DON'T have kids. To me, that would be like feeling sorry for me because I never got skin cancer. (I can hear the trolls marching now: "Precious kids are NOT equivalent to a deadly melanoma!" Yeah yeah. Ok, it would be more like I would be the skin cancer of a mother and the kids would be the ones suffering. Enough bad analogy. Down, trolls, down).
My Mexican "mom" Gloria told me, when I was 43, "You still have time to have one!" Given my limited Spanish skills and my lack of cultural context, I couldn't even begin to refute that. I would just sort of toss my hands up as if I was leaving the decision to God.
Which I never did. I have probably singlehandedly kept the Ortho corporation afloat with my lifelong support of their birth control products. Only a series of stubborn OB-GYNs and a lack of insurance coverage kept me from getting my tubes tied. And I was good at contraception, I must say. Zero unplanned pregnancies. I may be a dyed-in-the-wool Jezebel, but getting pregnant was not among my sins.
I don't really know what I am getting at. Other than to say that I am glad I don't have kids, and I have no idea why you like yours so much, but I hope we can still be friends somehow.
When you moan "My friends who aren't parents just don't understand!" it is me who you are referring to.
Maybe what I am wondering is: Is it ok for me not to GET what the whole kid thing is all about? Is there a "Why children are cool for dummies" book I can read?
Crap. It is bedtime and I don't think I have fulfilled Queen of Spain's assignment at all.