Another walk, another attacking dog. Well, two attacking dogs.
What is it with these rampaging dogs this week? I am getting so paranoid that I am about ready to lock myself indoors and suck down some Tanqueray and tonic...oh, wait, I AM already locked indoors with the gin and tonic, nevermind.
So much for my vow to quit drinking. Get off my back, it's Friday! Why are you always nagging me about my drinking? I don't have a problem, I don't, I don't, honesht. I love ya, man, have I ever told you that?
Anyway, here's today's tale of dog evil: my dear Goldie and I were walking on the trail by the park when we saw an Akita and a pit bull, no owner in sight, attack two dogs that an older couple was walking. I mean, attack. The pit bull grabbed the older dog, a golden retriever, by the throat and forced her to the ground, while the Akita fiercely bit at the other dog. The people beat off the attacker dogs with these big heavy leashes they had. Then the dogs came after me and Goldie.
I was frantically looking for a stick but I couldn't find one. I hurled a big rock at them, missing by 10 feet, of course, because I am such a weenie-girl. The adrenaline kicked in and I got aggressive as they rushed up to us. I stood tall and stomped my feet and waved my arms and yelled like a fool maniac.
They slowed down but still came toward us.
When they got within rance, I kicked the Akita in the head. It was a beautiful round kick that my self-defense teacher would have been so proud of. I really landed that sucker. It has been about 15 years since I kicked somebody in the head like that.
I felt practically like the lovely Taekwondo Junior Olympian, Maya, seen kicking ass in this video over at Mad Organica.
The Akita turned and ran, and the pit bull glared at us for one more minute (I could not bring myself to kick him, given the size of his huge maw) and then followed.
I know kicking dogs is wrong. I'm a vegetarian, for goodness sake. I won't even hurt a pork chop. But sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do - and sometimes that is to open a can of whupass on a stupid pig-eyed Akita.
Two new posts, including one all-video edition, over at Linkateria.